Grief and the Holidays
Article by Lauri McNair, MS
In September 2013, I lost a dear uncle to an aggressive form of liver cancer. His condition rapidly deteriorated and within a few months, he was gone. It was hard to watch my larger than life uncle slip away before our eyes. The reality that “Uncle June” was gone was almost too much to fathom. He was the quintessential uncle, if you will. He was the life of the party. He loved to sing, dance, eat, and have fun. He was a gifted athlete and avid gardener. But, above all, he was a family man--a faithful husband to his wife and a loving, devoted father and grandfather. Uncle June was decent and honorable. So, needless to say the 2013 holiday season was difficult, especially since many holiday dinners were held at his home. The fact that he would not be joining us for the holiday meal that evening or ever again in this lifetime was overwhelming. That is the harsh reality of death, its finality.
Since we can never bring our loved one back, we are left to work through the grieving process and ultimately come to a level of acceptance. And, God in his infinite goodness, gives us the capacity to do this. If this holiday season is being met with feelings of trepidation, that is natural and to be expected. Grieving is a process. Period. There is no formula or timeline or steps to follow. Some of the stages of grief that we think we have passed, we may revisit. That is okay. Grieving is most personal and individual. However, God is with us through it no matter how long it takes or how heartbroken we are. He is Emmanuel, “God with us”.
The Stages of Grief (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross)
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Suggestions to help cope through the holidays
1. Remember the promises of God. Personalize them by inserting your name.
* "Blessed are those who mourn, for they ("I" or your name__________) will be comforted."
--Matthew 5:7
* "...To comfort all who mourn. To appoint unto them who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."
--Isaiah 61:2-3
God has not forgotten you and is aware of the pain you are feeling.
2. Make an effort not to isolate yourself, more than likely, those around you are grieving also. All too often we go into our own individual little "corners" to grieve. Thereby shutting others out during a time that we need each other.
3. Find a local grief or support group. Many offer special programs during the holidays.
4. Talk, cry, journal, draw, paint, sculpt, write a poem, etc. Expressing your feelings, even if it is through creativity/the arts, is a critical part of the grieving process.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
If you are grieving and would like to talk or desire prayer, please call
1(866)460-8976 or if you prefer, please complete the form below.
In September 2013, I lost a dear uncle to an aggressive form of liver cancer. His condition rapidly deteriorated and within a few months, he was gone. It was hard to watch my larger than life uncle slip away before our eyes. The reality that “Uncle June” was gone was almost too much to fathom. He was the quintessential uncle, if you will. He was the life of the party. He loved to sing, dance, eat, and have fun. He was a gifted athlete and avid gardener. But, above all, he was a family man--a faithful husband to his wife and a loving, devoted father and grandfather. Uncle June was decent and honorable. So, needless to say the 2013 holiday season was difficult, especially since many holiday dinners were held at his home. The fact that he would not be joining us for the holiday meal that evening or ever again in this lifetime was overwhelming. That is the harsh reality of death, its finality.
Since we can never bring our loved one back, we are left to work through the grieving process and ultimately come to a level of acceptance. And, God in his infinite goodness, gives us the capacity to do this. If this holiday season is being met with feelings of trepidation, that is natural and to be expected. Grieving is a process. Period. There is no formula or timeline or steps to follow. Some of the stages of grief that we think we have passed, we may revisit. That is okay. Grieving is most personal and individual. However, God is with us through it no matter how long it takes or how heartbroken we are. He is Emmanuel, “God with us”.
The Stages of Grief (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross)
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Suggestions to help cope through the holidays
1. Remember the promises of God. Personalize them by inserting your name.
* "Blessed are those who mourn, for they ("I" or your name__________) will be comforted."
--Matthew 5:7
* "...To comfort all who mourn. To appoint unto them who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."
--Isaiah 61:2-3
God has not forgotten you and is aware of the pain you are feeling.
2. Make an effort not to isolate yourself, more than likely, those around you are grieving also. All too often we go into our own individual little "corners" to grieve. Thereby shutting others out during a time that we need each other.
3. Find a local grief or support group. Many offer special programs during the holidays.
4. Talk, cry, journal, draw, paint, sculpt, write a poem, etc. Expressing your feelings, even if it is through creativity/the arts, is a critical part of the grieving process.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
If you are grieving and would like to talk or desire prayer, please call
1(866)460-8976 or if you prefer, please complete the form below.
|
|