Blog Archives

Back to School!

8/29/2016

Heading back to school can be a time of mixed emotions for children as well as parents. There may be a sense of excitement and anticipation coupled with anxiety, fear, and worry about beginning a new school year. Will I like my teacher? What will I wear on the first day of school? Will my friends be in my class? Will I be able to open my locker? Will I find my class before the bell rings? Who will I sit with at the lunch table? Will they make fun of braces? Will I make Varsity this year? Should I try out for cheerleading? Am I cool enough?

With all of the challenges our children face in school today, preparing to go back to school is also an opportunity for parents to demonstrate their support and care for their children. As parents, we are able to let our children know that we are their number one encouragers, and that it is our desire to see that they succeed and thrive in every area of their lives.

Here are some suggestions to help you and your children begin a stellar school year!

1. Pray
We can never underestimate the power of prayer. Pray for your child's safety and protection. Pray for wisdom in parenting and guiding your child. Pray for those around your child--peers, teachers, coacher, bus drivers, etc.

2. Check-in
Ask questions. Talk to your child and be interested and engaged in what they are saying. (It may be third grade, but it is their world and vitally important to them!) Ask about bullying and peer pressure. "How are things going at school?" "Is anyone bothering you?" "Are you bothering anybody?" "Who do you sit with at lunch?" These questions open the door to conversation and give you insight into your child's world, what they are thinking about, and how they are feeling. Don't be deterred by resistance or short answers. Keep pursuing.

3. Get Involved
Know who you child's friends are. Get to know your child's teacher(s). Communicate and partner with them. Let them know that you are committed to your child's success. Attend "Back to School Night" and Parent/Teacher conferences. Make your presence known in the school--chaperone class trips and school dances, be a part of the PTA, participate in school activities.

4. Be Social Media Savvy
YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram--can all be positive, but as it relates to our children, we must be cautious. If your child has social media accounts, check them regularly. Who are their Facebook friends? Who are they tweeting? Who's tweeting them? What pictures are they posting on Instagram? The internet is a playground for bullying, peer pressure, and predators. As parents we must be vigilant and regularly check-in.

Also, know the different texting codes and abbreviations that kids use on cell phones. Many of them are designed to keep parents in the dark and out of the loop. Don't know what LMHO means? Ask your child. They probably do!

5. Get it out!
Let your child know that you are open to communication. Let them know that there is nothing off limits--that they can talk to you about anything. Be ready to listen and hear whatever may be on their minds. Focus on what they are saying. Make eye contact...Turn off the TV... Let the phone ring...Turn the burner to simmer. Your gestures and efforts to attune to what your son/daughter is saying lets him/her know that nothing is more important to you than what he/she has to say right now.

6. Invest
Children are gifts from God (Psalm 127:3). As parents, we have the privilege to train, teach, nurture, love, and guide them. Life is hectic and busy and challenging and stressful...but the time we take to be there for our children is priceless. Redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16)! Take full advantage of pouring into your child. It will be your greatest legacy.

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Prayer for Veterans

8/22/2016

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"I will tell of Your name to my countrymen."--Psalm 22:22(AMP)

To our nation's heroes: We honor and celebrate you as the courageous men and women you are.

There is good news for you today if you are a military veteran who may be feeling abandoned, forgotten, and discarded. If you are challenged by flashbacks, memories, and other symptoms of PTSD, there is good news:

God loves veterans, and He is concerned about you.

There are over 500 military references in the Bible. The Word of God is full of examples of mighty men (i.e., Gideon, Caleb, and David) and women of valor (i.e., Deborah and Jael) the physical and mental impact of war on the warrior
(2 Samuel 21:17), the effect of military service on the family (I Samuel 17), and the treatment and regard of soldiers upon their return home (I Samuel 18).

Prayer for the Wounded Warrior
Father, in the name of Jesus, we pray for veterans--those who have served our nation with zeal, pride, courage, and honor. We pray for those who are tormented by memories--images, sounds, smells. We pray for those who feel abandoned, discarded, rejected, and ostracized. Who pray for those who are experiencing nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, bouts of rage, hypervigilance, and other symptoms of PTSD. May they experience the peace of your presence. May they find comfort in knowing that you have not forgotten them. Thank you for being Jehovah Rophe, the Lord God who heals. We pray a prayer of healing, deliverance, and complete wholeness. May it be well with our veterans. Minister to each and every individual need. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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We will continue to pray for our veterans. If you have a specific prayer request, please submit it here.

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The EARS Technique for Effective Communication

8/20/2016

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"Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!"
--Matthew 11:15 (NLT)

We all know how important communication is. It is the fabric of healthy and mutually satisfying relationships. We all have a voice and long to be heard and understood. No man is island, so relationships are vital to our mental health and overall wellbeing. So, with all of this stated, why are so many of us struggling in this area? Do we scapegoat our incessant use of technology? Do we shift blame and poke someone else as a communication road-blocker?

Invariably, each of us look no further than our own role and participation in any given dialogue or conversation. It's not uncommon to hear statements like, "He never listens to me" or "It's like in one ear and out the other" or "I feel ignored when I'm talking" or "When I try to talk, the conversation shifts to being about the other person" or "All we do is yell, scream, and curse at each other...there is no conversation. It's a shouting match". Do any of these statements sound familiar?

Effective communication is a skill that takes practice, patience, time, and effort. There is no better teacher than the Master of communication--Jesus! Study the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Jesus routinely offered platforms for people to share their hearts--their concerns, experiences, frustrations, doubt, or pessimism. He met people where they were. He listened expertly and with great care and compassion. If we observe, implement, and apply
the techniques He used to effectively communicate--we will be on our way to healthier, more mutually satisfying relationships.

The following is an original, biblically-based model downloaded by the Holy Spirit entitled, "The EARS Technique for Effective Communication":

1. E (Engage)

This is the first step in effective communication, and the most critical as it is the foundation of communication. Afford others a platform to converse. Engagement involves non-judgmental interaction and setting a tone of safety and interest in what is on another person's heart. Engagement is not giving advise, suggestions, or counsel. It's the preliminary stage of communication designed to allow the conversation to evolve into a more meaningful and in depth dialogue.

2. A (Attention)

Attention is key. If we are inattentive, we have lost our audience and essentially shut down communication. We demonstrate that we are attentive through eye contact and body language. This shows that the speaker has our full attention. There are no distractions if we are fully attentive. This means we are not looking at our cell phones, watching TV, or sitting with our arms folded, gazing into the great unknown, waiting for our chance to speak. Even if we do not like what is being said, we must model restraint by not cutting a person off or speaking over them. This is the time to listen prayerfully through a filter of God's grace, compassion, and love. If we enact this technique of prayerful attention, the Holy Spirit will give us what we need to navigate even the most difficult conversation.

3. R (Response)

Jesus was masterful at this. He knew how to respond with understanding--whether it was with a pointed question, an empathic tone of voice, or a parable. His responses always evoked some type of change or movement. When Jesus spoke, people felt heard and acknowledge. His responses brought relief (John 2:1-11), deliverance (Luke 8:26-39), hope (Mark 9:14-29), healing (Matthew 8:1-27), freedom (John 8:1-11), inspiration (John 3:1-20), direction (Luke 5:1-6), and encouragement (Matthew 16:13-20). No one ever left His presence feeling unheard or unconsidered.

4. S (Survey)

Take an honest assessment of dialogue. Was Christ emulated through your words? It takes humility to ask someone else if he feels heard or understood. But, this is part of it. We may think we did a good job of listening...but how does the other person feel about our efforts to engage, be attentive, and respond in a way that demonstrates a heartfelt desire to improve communication? Acknowledge the response and prayerfully consider what has been shared. Be introspective. Invite the Holy Spirit to continually help you. We have been empowered with a divine, supernatural ability to communicate like a boss when we humbly follow the Master.

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Identifying Adversaries

8/19/2016

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"For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries."
--I Corinthians 16:9 (NKJV)

Whenever God opens a door of opportunity, there will always be opposition. Why? Because the enemy never wants us to walk into our God-given destiny or purpose! He never wants us to experience the abundant joy-filled life that comes with being in covenant relationship with our heavenly Father.

Do you have a dream? Is there an inner burning desire to advance to move forward? Is there an undercurrent of suspicion in your soul that there must be more to life than this? Are you silently frustrated because you feel stuck; at an impasse? It could be that you are dealing with an adversary. The Greek rendering of adversary in I Corinthians 16:9 is antikeimai (Strongs 480), meaning "to be set over against", "opposite", "to oppose", "to withstand", "to lie opposite", "to be contrary".

Are you able to identify adversaries that may be opposing your walk through a door of opportunity?

Common Adversaries

Fear
Doubt
Disbelief
Past failures
Insecurity
Worry
Pessimism/"Stinkin' thinkin'"
Negative and/or toxic people
Discouragement

Any myriad of things could be an adversary, so the ability to identify or discern what is opposing is crucial to walking in victory.

So, the adversary has been identified, now what?

Good question, I'm glad you asked. Apply God's word! The word of God is our truth. The kingdom of darkness opposes through lies, scare tactics, and deception. We, as human beings, can also do a pretty good job of thinking ourselves out of an opportunity. The word of God will cut through all of that:

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
--Hebrews 4:12 (KJV)

Pray. Prayer is a weapon! Prayer can literally send the enemy running:

"The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven."--Deuteronomy 28:7(NIV)

If God has opened a door of opportunity to you, everything you need to go through the door is onboard. Simply align yourself with heaven. As we identify our adversary, apply God's word, pray and activate our faith--we are guaranteed to overcome opposition. And, in so doing, courage hits our hearts.

"True courage is whetted by opposition."--Matthew Henry

Prayer
Father, in Jesus' name, may we be empowered by your word to go through every door of opportunity that you open for us. Reveal every adversary. We pray for grace and strength to do the hard work to defeat what is opposing us in the spirit realm. Thank you that your word is greater than any opposition. Your truths are greater. And by your greatness we are able to conquer and overcome every adversary. Thank you for your promises in Deuteronomy 28:7. We declare your word over our lives. Amen and so be it.

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When Devices Rule

8/12/2016

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"Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."--Deuteronomy 11:19 (NIV)

As we were headed out the door, I yelled out to my girls, "Ready ladies?"

"Yessss....."

"Okay, let's roll."

"Alright Mom."

"No devices!!!"

"What??? Awwww....okay..."

Disappointed, long faces headed out the door. Why? Because I said, "No devices"? Simply ridiculous. Albeit, we had an enjoyable car ride talking, laughing, and singing along to songs on the radio. However, some changes have been made with regard to device usage; the whole exchange set off an internal alarm within me.

Technology is a wonderful thing, but if we are not careful with how we use it, our ability as human beings to establish and cultivate healthy, mutually satisfying relationships, practice self-expression and emoting, as well as walk in love, compassion, and empathy will be lost.

As parents, grandparents, foster parents, God-parents, caregivers, etc. it is our responsibility to train our children up (Proverbs 22:6). It is prudent for us to model the art of engaging with our youth, who are very technologically savvy, but very often disengaged socially. Communication is a skill that involves eye contact, active listening, and responding appropriately. It cannot be learned through a machine. It's learned through interaction. Adults teach children through modeling and demonstration. Have you ever observed a toddler fully engaged in conversation on a toy phone? Or, perhaps caring for her doll baby? She is mimicking what she has seen.

We live harried lives, but a gentle reminder to take time to engage and check in with the young people in your life. It's a vital necessity; we need to know and be aware of what is going on in their minds and hearts. Conversely, our young people need to know that we are present, we are available and accessible, we are attentive, and we care about what they care about.

As the 2016/2017 school year is upon us, I pray you will make time each day to shut down (the devices) and tune in (to the hearts of your children).

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Silent Tears (Overcoming Miscarriage)

8/10/2016

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"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."--Psalm 56:8 (NLT)

Prior to the birth of my two daughters, I experienced two miscarriages. The horror, anguish, and pain in my heart was unbearable. I was inconsolable; beyond heartbroken and devastated. I simply could not understand why God would allow me to experience such hurt not once, but twice. The utter shock, disbelief, and unspeakable grief made it difficult to focus or concentrate on anything other than my losses. My mind swirled with unanswered questions. The mental replay of events was dizzying. I was riddled with embarrassment and shame. Barraged with insensitive verbiage of others and intrusive questions--I felt vulnerable and defensive. I was seething with anger. Angry with myself, angry with doctors, angry with people...angry with God.

How could the One who loves me and is the Creator of life let this happen? It felt mean and cruel. The anger was so intense, it was literally consuming me. Yet, I realized that the only One who could help me was the One whom I was angry with! I knew if I did not turn to Him, the anger would fester into a bitter and calloused heart. So, albeit begrudgingly, I honestly and transparently confessed my anger to God. He already knew the pain of my heart anyway, but verbalizing the raw, unfiltered emotion before the Lord was a vital and crucial turning point for me. I made a volitional decision to release the anger and relinquish it to Him. Trust me, it was not a pretty scene. There was a lot of "ugly crying" and it was not a one time event. Daily I went before the Lord with the overwhelming grief and anger. Each time I cried out to God, I opened my heart to receive His love, healing, and peace. I cannot pinpoint the exact day, date, or time--but God did something miraculous. He healed my heart, just as His Word promises. One day, the pain was just gone. The hurt was gone. The anger was gone. I looked for them, I felt for them. They were gone.

Peace and hope had hit my heart.

While every woman's experience is unique and different, I guarantee you that by God's grace and enduring love, you will overcome as you pursue Him.

Prayer
Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray for every woman who may have suffered miscarriage. As the omniscient God, you know her heart. You know the disappointment, the pain, the sadness, the brokenness, the anger. I pray that you would give her the grace to release the cares of her heart to you. I pray that an exchange would be made--that as she releases it all to you, that you would fill her heart with your peace, hope, love, and courage. Thank you for your care and compassion. Thank you for your healing virtue that is bringing wellness and restoration to her soul. May your heavenly host surround her. Hide her under the shadow of your wing. Amen and so be it according to your word.

If you would like additional prayer or supportive counseling, please complete and submit the form below.

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Pride--a Progress Inhibitor

8/4/2016

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Check out our latest podcast!

Find out how pride almost caused Naaman (2 Kings 5) to miss out on the miraculous...

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Back to School!

Prayer for Veterans

Veteran's Prayer Request

The EARS Technique for Effective Communication

Identifying Adversaries

When Devices Rule

Silent Tears (Overcoming Miscarriage)

Prayer/Counseling Request

Pride--a Progress Inhibitor

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