Blog - A Broken Heart's GPS Christian Counseling and Resource Center lauri@abrokenheartsgps.org

Hard-Wired for Confidence

11/30/2016

I believe confidence is hard-wired within each of us. Why? Because God created us in his own image and in his own likeness (Genesis 1:26-27). We see evidence of this truth in children. When my daughters were very young toddlers, I would rub their backs or gently pat them to sleep. (Don't judge--we did what worked for our family!) At any rate, one night I was about to pat our youngest daughter, Zoe', to sleep. But, before I could, she said, "I pat myshelf". Although it was a humorous moment in parenting, this little one's confidence in her own ability taught me something.

So, if confidence is hard-wired within us, why is it an area of struggle for so many? Why do we lack courage and boldness? Why are so many struggling with timidity, insecurity, fear, poor sense of self, and feelings of inferiority? Why are we emulating others rather than embracing our individuality and uniqueness? Why aren't we walking in our God-given identity--pursuing our dreams and fulfilling our destiny?

Often, childhood experiences, toxic people, bullying, abuse, rejection, mistreatment, failures, and various other circumstances can rattle our confidence and prompt us to live life from a place of deficit. This is why the Bible tells us to not throw away our confidence. It is a gift that brings rewards.

Is it possible to get your confidence back, one may ask? Of course, it is because it never left. It's all a matter of accessing it. How do we access it?

1. We renew our minds with the word of God:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."--Romans 12:2

2. We activate our faith to receive the truths and promises of God:

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."--Romans 10:17

3. We don't allow ourselves to live imprisoned by our past. We make our pain profitable--using it to catapult us forward.

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."--Philippians 3:13

4. We meditate on who God says we are until his words become our core beliefs, rooted in our hearts, enabling us to live life abundantly (John 10:10) and confidently:

* We are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

* We are a chosen generation and a royal priesthood. (I Peter 2:9-10)

* We are more than conquerors. (Romans 8:37)

* We are righteous and bold as lions. (Proverbs 28:1)

* We are like green olive trees--flourishing in the house of God. (Psalm 52:8)

"Live Like You're Loved"

11/26/2016

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life".--John 3:16(NKJV)

When I heard the song, "Live Like You're Loved", by Hawk Nelson, I was moved. The lyrics are simple, yet powerful and thought-provoking. Are we living life as if we are loved by the Almighty God, our heavenly Father? Do our thoughts, feelings, words, behaviors, relationships, choices and decisions reflect us living like we are loved? Are we consumed with anger, riddled with guilt, emotionally detached and disconnected? What lies do we hold as personal truth that inhibit from experiencing the love of the Father? Do we even really know what love is?

In John 3:16, "love" is the Greek word "agapao"; means "to welcome", "to be fond of", "to love dearly", "to have a preference for", "to wish well", "to regard the welfare of". These definitions encompass the way God feels about you. In Him, you are welcome (accepted, invited, beckoned), dearly loved, and preferred. God wishes you well and regards your well-being. Even if you have experienced rejection, abandonment, and disregard by a person or people, these experiences do not define you or decrease your worth, value, significance in relation to the eternal love that the Father has for you.

So again I pose the question, Are you living like you are loved? If not why? Are there core beliefs rooted in lies that need to be dismantled in order to accept this biblical truth? What experiences (past/current) need to be grappled with or addressed?

I encourage you today to bring your heart before the Father, the God so loves you.

Prayer
Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you for your love that is immeasurable, eternal, and limitless. Thank you that your love surpasses human hurt, rejection, abandonment, abuse, neglect, and mistreatment. Thank you that in your love there is healing, redemption, motivation, and inspiration.

May the truth of your love hit our hearts and move us beyond fear, rage, despondency, confusion, and stagnation. Uproot the things that are causing personal bondage. Dismantle mental and emotional strongholds, in Jesus' name.

We thank you for acceptance and preference of us. We receive the truth that you desire we do well. May we live our lives like we are loved.

Amen and so be it according to your word.

Happy Thanksgiving!

11/23/2016

Grief and the Holidays

11/21/2016

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort he has given us."
--2 Corinthians 1:3-4(NLT)

The Holiday season is upon us, and for many who have lost loved ones it may not feel like a "happy" time.

In February 2016, we lost my precious grandmother. She was an extraordinary woman and a huge part our lives. Christmas dinners were always held at her home; a family tradition spanning over 50 years. Christmas without "Grandma Bay" is virtually unfathomable. Yet, the reality is, she will not be here. But we cherish her memory--all the fun times, the laughter, her compassion, her forthrightness. Treasures.

I'm not sure what the family gathering will be like this year without Grandma Bay, the matriarch of our family. But, I am most certain of this: God is our source and he promises to comfort the grieving, mourning heart.

If you are struggling with the loss a loved one this Holiday season, click the link below to read our article, "Grief and the Holidays".

If you'd like to share a favorite memory of a loved one who has passed away, please complete the contact form below.
It may be featured in an upcoming blog post.

Holiday Giving

11/19/2016

Holy Hill Ministries is gearing up to be a blessing to local families this Thanksgiving--shopping for turkeys and all the trimmings!

Thank you to those partnering with us--your generosity enables us to help others.

If you would like to partner with us, during our Thanksgiving and Christmas Holiday outreach efforts and beyond, click on the button below.

"You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus:
'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"
--Acts 20:35 (NLT)

Accessing Your Inner Victor

11/15/2016

"That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong."
--2 Corinthians 12:10(NIV)

I recently I spoke with a middle-school student who endured a bout with peer pressure. This amazing young one held her ground and refused to succumb to the incessant efforts to pressure her to try what was being offered. As a result, she was called "weak" by the student pressuring her.

Well, I would beg to differ with that assessment. Would you? On the contrary, this little one exuded pre-existent strength and courage, that may have not been realized or drawn upon without the peer pressure scenario unfolding.

The Scriptures are laced with similar examples. Consider David, when he was faced with a giant (I Samuel 17)--he engaged with the mindset of a victor. Despite being chided and insulted by Goliath. Why couldn't antics, words, and intimidation get the best of him? Why didn't he avoid the giant like everyone else? Because of what became activated in his heart when he was opposed by a lion and a bar. He soundly defeated them. He was familiar with his gifts and he had a relationship with the Giver of gifts.

Consider the wise woman in 2 Samuel 20--she engaged with the mindset of a victor. How? She knew God and she was wise. When Joab was ready to destroy an entire city because he wanted one man, Sheba--she bravely intervened. Her orchestrating an effort to slay Sheba, saved an entire city.

Even if you feel weak or a little shaky, it does not mean that you do not have gifts onboard (Ephesians 4:8). Consider the life of Gideon (Judges 6) who lived in total fear and avoidance. He was found hiding from the Midianites threshing wheat behind the winepress when God identified him as a mighty man of valor. Gideon's response? "You got the wrong guy. I'm weak, poor, and the least in my father's house." But he had pre-existing gifts he did not have knowledge of until he engaged in battle.

We, as human beings, will be routinely confronted with opposition. How we view opposition and respond to them is critical. Are we viewing through the lens of victim or victor? When we opt to view opposition through the lens of victim, we miss something vital. When we choose to confront opposition, it often reveals not only the gifts that God has given each of us which may be lying dormant or unrecognized, but also his might and power.

It could be that what is opposing us is the very thing God is allowing to be a catalyst in revealing unforetold strength and courage.

Prayer

Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you that in you there is no defeat and there are no victims. We thank you that you call us more than conquerors. May our minds be renewed with the truth of your word--that we are strong, mighty, and brave as you have given us the ability to succeed and excel. May we walk in your truths with uplifted heads (Psalm 27:6) and steadfast hearts (Psalm 57:7).

Amen and so be it according to your word.

Tune in to our latest podcast, "Accessing Your Inner Victor" as well for more sharing on this topic!

A Prayer for Our Veterans

11/11/2016

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."--Philippians 1:3 (KJV)

A Prayer for Our Veterans

Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you for our veterans. We give you honor and praise for those who have served courageously and selflessly in times of war and peace.

We honor the memory of those who made the ultimate sacrifice. We remember the POWs. We remember those who went missing and have yet to be found. We remember the disabled and wounded--physically and emotionally. We pray for those suffering with depression and PTSD. We pray that you would minister grace and comfort by your Spirit.

We pray for those who are actively serving. We pray for their safety and protection. We pray for our military families. We pray that you would encourage hearts and give peace.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Wrestling Match

11/9/2016

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."--Ephesians 6:10-12 (NKJV)

As a young teenager in the 1980s, watching WWF wrestling on TV was big and entertaining. So much so, my dad took my mom, sister, great-grandfather (who lived with us at the time), and I to a WWF event at the Spectrum in Philadelphia. We were all beyond excited to see what we had watched on TV so many times, live and in person. The 30-minute drive from South Jersey, across the Walt Whitman Bridge, to South Philly seemed like a cross country road trip. Once we finally got to the Spectrum and made our way through the entrance, grabbed snacks and sodas, and geared up to sit down and be entertained. And entertained we were. The jeers and roars of the crowd, the aroma of fresh popcorn, the referees, the announcer's commentary, and the dramatic provocation of the wrestlers on the ticket were all the makings of fond childhood memories.

Yet, when we talk about wrestling in the spiritual sense, it is far from entertaining. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance defines wrestling as "contest between two in which each endeavors to throw the other, and which is decided when the victor is able to hold his opponent down with his hand upon his neck"(G3823). The reality is that we all at one time or another will wrestle against something. Notice I did not say someone. So often we experience defeat, severed and conflicted relationships, and adopt maladaptive coping skills simply because we are not cognizant of the real opponent. Victory comes when we become skillful spiritual warriors who are armed with truth, knowledge, and the Word of God.

Consider the exchange between David and his brother, Eliab, prior to David's victory over the giant, Goliath:

"When Eliab, David’s oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, 'Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the wilderness? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle.'"

“Now what have I done?” said David. “Can’t I even speak?” He then turned away to someone else and brought up the same matter, and the men answered him as before."--I Samuel 17:28-30 (NIV)

Ouch! Strong words from Eliab, right? Eliab's anger was venomous and toxic. The blaming, snarky,name-calling, accusatory language, and effort to publically shame David is stunning. But, David recognized the spirits (attitudes) that were opposing him through Eliab. David neither jarred nor distracted from the real battle which lay ahead.

We see a similar account in the New Testament with Paul being followed, and albeit heckled, by a young slave girl as he traveled throughout town:

"Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling. This girl followed Paul and us, and cried out, saying, “These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation.” And this she did for many days. But Paul, greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.”
--Acts 16:16-18(NKJV)

Paul was able to look beyond the girl and see the spirit that was operating through her. When we grab hold of the truth that we are not wrestling against flesh and blood (people), but rather principalities, powers, rulers of darkness, and spiritual wickedness in high places, we wrestle effectively and experience victory, change, and deliverance in every aspect of our lives.

Who are you wrestling with today? If you are expending a tremendous amount time and energy wrestling, yet continue to feel frustrated, aggravated, tired, and angry--may I encourage to consider Ephesians 6:10-18?

One must never forget that the enemy of our soul does not want the people of God to experience the "zoe" life; life that is rich, abundant, and overflowing in the blessings, peace, prosperity, and love of God. It's life that is enjoyed because it comes from a spiritual place. It is the kind of life Satan greatly opposes and works relentlessly to keep us from experiencing.

Questions for Reflection:
1. Have you experienced "wrestling" with a person (spouse, child, family member, co-worker, boss, neighbor, etc.) How did this "match" make you feel?

2. In retrospect, are you now able to identify what you were wrestling with? Give it a name i.e., jealousy, lying, intimidation, rage, fear

3. How would this change the way you approach future interactions?

Prayer:

Father, in the name of Jesus, thank you for the entrance of your word that brings light (Psalm 119:130). Thank you that your word equips us for success in life. Thank you for revealing who the real opponents are according to Ephesians 6:12. We repent of wrestling with people. Forgive us of futile arguments, harboring offenses, and walking in bitterness and contempt. We align ourselves with the truth of your word. May we be ever mindful to utilize the armor that you have given us. We pray for discernment, wisdom, and understanding. We pray for healthy relationships and interactions that abound in your love, compassion, and grace.

Amen and so be it according to your word.

Dare to Hope

11/2/2016

"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."
--Lamentations 3:21-23(KJV)

A Word of Comfort for the Distressed, Troubled Soul

The book of Lamentations in the Bible was written by the prophet Jeremiah. He was notably coined "The Weeping Prophet" because he was no stranger to despair. Lamentations 3 is an expressive account of a heart that is overwhelmed and distressed. Jeremiah pulls no punches in the reading; he is honest and forthright about his present emotional state. Yet, the way he navigates his way through the depths of despair is fascinating--he takes his heart to the Father. Then, he does something interesting--he recalls. He brings to remembrance the experiential goodness of God. This recollection gives him hope.

What can we, as believers, glean from this Weeping Prophet? When times get hard, and they will, we are never without hope because of the promises of God. Each new day offers us the opportunity to experience the unconditional and unwavering love of God. We maintain our hope in him, because we have at times prior experienced his compassion. His mercy and goodness preempted what was poised to destroy us. Therefore, we were not consumed.
(See the Hebrew word study below.)

May I encourage you today? Whatever emotional distress you may be experiencing--don't lose hope. It is one of your greatest gifts and each new day brings a fresh supply. God promises that you will not be consumed because His love is greater. If you are battling with a spirit of doubt, recall times past in which you were supernaturally (albeit miraculously) sustained by God's steadfast love.

Hebrew Word Study on Lamentations 3:21-22

mind: (H3820/"leb") heart, mind, soul, knowledge, thinking, memory, reflection, seat of emotions, appetites, passion, and courage; conscience, moral character

hope: (H3176/"yachal") hope, trust, tarry, stayed

mercies: (H2617/"checed") kindness, goodness, lovingkindness, mercy, pity

consumed: (H8552/"tamam") finished, destroyed

Prayer:

Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you for the promises found in Lamentations 3:21-23. We take comfort in knowing that you promise that present distress will not consume us. We place our trust in the truth of your word. Thank you for your unwavering love and compassion. May new found hope hit the heart of each person reading this prayer.

Amen and so be it according to your word.

Hebrew word study from Strong's Exhaustive Concordance