A Broken Heart's GPS Christian Counseling and Resource Center (856) 473-5937 lauri@abrokenheartsgps.org

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When a Child Speaks

10/28/2016

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"You have taught children and infants to tell of your strength, silencing your enemies and all who oppose you."--Psalm8:2 (NLT)

Please tune in to our latest podcast, "When a Child Speaks".  This episode features a divinely inspired message from my daughter, Abigail.  As you tune in, listen with spiritual ears.  Whenever God gives a child a message, it is prudent for us as adults to listen.

​Click on the button below to listen in now.
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Moving Beyond Emotional Incest

10/24/2016

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"I will go before you and make the rough places smooth..."
​--Isaiah 45:2 (NASB)
Emotional incest (covert incest or parentification) occurs when a parent looks to the child to meet his/her emotional needs.  It is a form abuse that produces soul wounds in the child that are carried into adulthood.  For more information on the symptoms and effects of Emotional Incest, please read our article by clicking the link below.
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Moving Beyond Emotional Incest

Although challenging and painful, it is possible to heal and move beyond the devastating effects of being an adult child of emotional incest, if one is willing to do the hard work. 

It should be noted that for the victim of  emotional incest, there may be a degree of self-validation, self-worth, or significance and importance at being "entrusted" to handle adult matters as a child.  But this is an unfortunate lie, because this responsibility came from a defiled place with blurred lines and skewed boundaries.  Simply put, it should never have taken place.  To place an adult role on a youth robs him of his true, God-given identity.  Placing this magnitude of responsibility on a child before he or she is emotionally ready mars the soul.  A child is not equipped to handle such weight, and ultimately a soul wound is created.

​So, how does the adult child move beyond childhood memories and pain that have rode shot-gun into adult life? 


  • Share your story
​Begin by sharing your story in a safe and supportive environment (perhaps with your Pastor or a Christian counselor).  Be transparent about your emotions, needs, and unmet longings.  Often, a sense of responsibility or a need to protect the parent may remain, thereby neutralizing or negating the emotional needs of the parentified adult. 

Make every attempt to not sugar-coat or water down your feelings, your hurt, or your anger as you share your story with your Pastor or Christian counselor.  Begin to identify your feelings and recognize your needs.  Be okay with taking care of you.


"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors
there is safety."--
Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)


  • ​Rediscover your God-given identity
​​​The enemy of our soul works overtime to steal, kill, and destroy.  He is a thief.  His desire is to steal our identity, kill our dreams, and destroy our future.  He does not want us to live a life of abundant joy, peace, and satisfaction.  So, very often he attacks in our youth--the formidable years--the time in which our self-perception is being constructed.

​Know who God says you are.  Embrace your God-given identity and uniqueness.  You are an original and one of a kind.  When God created you--He dropped the mic!  You are awesome.  Your identity is not wrapped in being labeled as "mature beyond your years" as a child.  God created you for something special. 

​"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."--Psalm 139:14 (KJV)


  • ​Reset Boundaries (that cannot be compromised)
This may be difficult and tricky to do, and so we rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  He gives us wisdom and direction on resetting boundaries--especially as it relates to interacting with the parent who may have perpetrated the emotional incest.  He also gives us the grace to be uncompromising in the boundary set.

​"He establishes peace within your borders..."--Psalm 147:14(VOICE)



Prayer
​Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you for your relentless love and pursuit of the lost, broken, and hurting.  We pray for victims of covert incest now.  We pray over every soul wound.  We thank you that you are the True and Living God; the One who is able to heal every hidden, disguised, and masked wound.  We cast emotional hurt and pain, anger, fear, resentment, angst, and hostility at your feet because you care for us (I Peter 5:7).  

May those who are hurting today make an exchange in the realm of the Spirit and  receive your love, peace, and joy--the zoe life (John 10:10) that enables us to live a life of satisfaction and abundance that comes through a relationship with you. 

​Amen and so be it according to your word,
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You're in a Good Place

10/22/2016

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"Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need! He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most.
 Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way.
 You provide delicious food for me in the presence of my enemies. You have welcomed me as your guest; blessings overflow!
 Your goodness and unfailing kindness shall be with me all of my life, and afterwards I will live with you forever in your home."--Psalm 23 (TLB)

For many, Psalm 23 is perhaps the best known and cherished Psalm.  Most of us can identify with the human needs David so aptly describes.  The need of rest, peace, guidance, and  direction as well as  courage and strength when life gets hard.  David tapped into the truths of this Psalm.  These truths ultimately became  experiential and revelatory for David. 

​Our world may seem difficult and perplexing at times.  Many things may appear uncertain and unstable.  Yet, God is constant.  He is immutable.  His Word, essence, and attributes never change.  If he is Lord of your life, then you are in a good place.  You are under his divine protective love and care.  Receive the blessings of the Lord as your Shepherd.  In Him, we have everything we need.

​ 
Click the button below to listen to our latest podcast, "You're in a Good Place".
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Never Give Up...Contend and Win!

10/19/2016

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​
"
And the Spirit of God came upon Saul when he heard those tidings, and his anger was kindled greatly."--I Samuel 11:6 (KJV)
​

This year, as in years passed, my family and I planted a small fruit and veggie garden.  Although it was not a huge garden, I was excited at the prospect of our girls growing, and ultimately harvesting some of the things they like to eat--kale, lettuce, and strawberries.  It was an extremely hot and dry summer in New Jersey, so each day the girls would faithfully water and tend to their garden. 

We were able to enjoy the lettuce, and looked forward to the day the kale would be ready for harvest.  So, can you imagine my horror when I found a couple of caterpillars enjoying the kale?  I thought to myself, "We did not plant this kale for caterpillars!!!"  I found myself angry at the little trespassers. Of course, I say this in jest, realizing that this is nature and the great outdoors.  But, the point I am trying to make is that when someone (toxic person) or something (toxic thoughts) is endeavoring to take what is ours (spiritually/emotionally) there should be an internal response; a righteous indignation of sorts--
This does not belong to you.  This is mine and I will not relinquish it to you. 

​
I am reminded of the biblical account of Saul and the Israelite army's defeat of Nahash and the Ammonites in I Samuel 11.  The people of Jabesh-Gilead were about to surrender to Nahash, but wanted to know the terms of their surrender.  Nahash tells them the terms of their surrender would be the gouging of each person's right eye and to display them as a reproach upon Israel. 

Whoa! Right?

Well, the people were brought to tears at the prospect. They asked for seven days to think about it and see if anyone could help them.  If they found no help, they agreed surrender and have their eyes gouged.  Ultimately, Saul heard the people crying overNahash's proposition and anger ignited in him.  He formulated an army of 330,000 men, divided them into three groups,  and soundly defeated Nahash and the Ammonites.

​What are you up against today?  If you purpose not to give up, God will enable you to overcome and be victorious.  You do not have to relinquish what God has given you (peace, hope, joy, expectation, etc.)  As believers, we are never to surrender.  When we make a decision to contend--and see it through--we have already won.
​
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The Open Wounds of Life

10/13/2016

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"I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens. I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;  my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal."--Psalm 77:1-6(MSG)
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Can you identify on some level with the picture above, or identify with this Psalm of Asaph?  If we're honest, the picture or the Psalm will resonate with many of us. 

At times throughout our lives, we will experience hardships, challenges, and difficulties.  Circumstances may make us feel as though life has become like an open wound that will not heal.   When we are in the grips of despair and pain is writhing in our hearts, it is imperative to bring our lament before the Father allowing his word to be our safety net. 

​While life's challenges are undeniably real, and at times difficult, when we activate our faith and anchor our souls in the truths of God's word--we will overcome.

​Scriptures for Meditation:

"The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time."--Psalm 34:19(NLT)

"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You;
And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, Until these calamities have passed by."--Psalm 57:1(NKJV)

"...We went through fire and through water; But You brought us out to rich fulfillment."--Psalm 66:12(NKJV)


"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you."
--Isaiah 43:2(NLT)

​"I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread."--Psalm 37:25(NIV)

​"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail."--Lamentations 3:22 (NIV)



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Encouragement for the Worrier

10/5/2016

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"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
​--I Peter 5:7(NLT)
If you are prone to worry, anxiety, or catastrophizing (a mindset of assuming the worst case scenario)--there is good news for you today!  It begins with taking back the power and authority you may have relinquished to fear. 

The root of worry is irrational fear; and if we are not mindful it will control our thoughts.  When we are experiencing chronic states of worry, stress, anxiety, doom, and dread--laden with catastrophic thoughts, every aspect of our being is effected.  We all know that none of the aforementioned emotional states are good for us.  Prolonged fear, anxiety, and worry weathers the body; blood pressure, insulin levels, organs, and even our bones  are impacted by our emotional state.

​We were not created to sustain such modes of thinking.  God our Creator, in his infinite wisdom and relentless love, has given us what we need to traverse what is negative, unpleasant, and distressing.  We have been called to conquer and overcome--not relinquish and live in defeat.

Here are a few points for consideration:​
  1. Practice mindfulness
    • Recognize when fear is seeking inroads into your psyche.  Notice when you are catastrophizing and STOP.  Do not give away your power and authority.  You  have been given victory over fear.
  2. Refute and Reframe
    • We refute catastrophic thinking and worry with the word of God. His word is alive and powerful (Hebrews 4:12).  Our psyche is designed to respond to the word of God.  When we speak his word over a situation, faith is ignited and hope hits our hearts.
    • Reframe with the word of God.  For example, "This present way of thinking does not line up with God's word.  Romans 8:28 is my promise that  God causes all things in my life to work together for good.  Doom does not fit into this equation."
  3. Accept
    • Life is full of challenges, obstacles, difficulties, and hardships.  However, we have been given the divine ability to cope and not be consumed.
Prayer
​Father, in the name of Jesus, we pray for those who may be struggling with worry that is rooted in fear.  We pray that this would be a day of new beginnings in which your truths are at the forefront of hearts.  Reverse the effects of worry on the body--restore organs to sound functioning, regulate blood pressure and insulin levels, strengthen and rebuild bones, heal stomachs and gastrointestinal tracks.  We pray for those who are challenged with stomach ailments and digestive disorders that are the result of stress and worry.  Thank you that you are Jehovah Rophe--the Lord God who heals.  Thank you for victory and triumph--we receive it now in Jesus' name.  Amen and so be it according to your word.

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    I am a wife, mother, and Christian counselor who believes that God can heal and restore our broken hearts and put us on the road to wholeness, purpose, and productivity in our lives when we follow and trust his "GPS".

               2022 abrokenheartsgps.org.   856-473-5937    "Finding our way--through God's love."
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