"I will go before you and make the rough places smooth..."
--Isaiah 45:2 (NASB)
--Isaiah 45:2 (NASB)
Emotional incest (covert incest or parentification) occurs when a parent looks to the child to meet his/her emotional needs. It is a form abuse that produces soul wounds in the child that are carried into adulthood. For more information on the symptoms and effects of Emotional Incest, please read our article by clicking the link below.
Moving Beyond Emotional Incest
Although challenging and painful, it is possible to heal and move beyond the devastating effects of being an adult child of emotional incest, if one is willing to do the hard work.
It should be noted that for the victim of emotional incest, there may be a degree of self-validation, self-worth, or significance and importance at being "entrusted" to handle adult matters as a child. But this is an unfortunate lie, because this responsibility came from a defiled place with blurred lines and skewed boundaries. Simply put, it should never have taken place. To place an adult role on a youth robs him of his true, God-given identity. Placing this magnitude of responsibility on a child before he or she is emotionally ready mars the soul. A child is not equipped to handle such weight, and ultimately a soul wound is created.
So, how does the adult child move beyond childhood memories and pain that have rode shot-gun into adult life?
Make every attempt to not sugar-coat or water down your feelings, your hurt, or your anger as you share your story with your Pastor or Christian counselor. Begin to identify your feelings and recognize your needs. Be okay with taking care of you.
"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors
there is safety."--Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)
Know who God says you are. Embrace your God-given identity and uniqueness. You are an original and one of a kind. When God created you--He dropped the mic! You are awesome. Your identity is not wrapped in being labeled as "mature beyond your years" as a child. God created you for something special.
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."--Psalm 139:14 (KJV)
"He establishes peace within your borders..."--Psalm 147:14(VOICE)
Prayer
Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you for your relentless love and pursuit of the lost, broken, and hurting. We pray for victims of covert incest now. We pray over every soul wound. We thank you that you are the True and Living God; the One who is able to heal every hidden, disguised, and masked wound. We cast emotional hurt and pain, anger, fear, resentment, angst, and hostility at your feet because you care for us (I Peter 5:7).
May those who are hurting today make an exchange in the realm of the Spirit and receive your love, peace, and joy--the zoe life (John 10:10) that enables us to live a life of satisfaction and abundance that comes through a relationship with you.
Amen and so be it according to your word,
It should be noted that for the victim of emotional incest, there may be a degree of self-validation, self-worth, or significance and importance at being "entrusted" to handle adult matters as a child. But this is an unfortunate lie, because this responsibility came from a defiled place with blurred lines and skewed boundaries. Simply put, it should never have taken place. To place an adult role on a youth robs him of his true, God-given identity. Placing this magnitude of responsibility on a child before he or she is emotionally ready mars the soul. A child is not equipped to handle such weight, and ultimately a soul wound is created.
So, how does the adult child move beyond childhood memories and pain that have rode shot-gun into adult life?
- Share your story
Make every attempt to not sugar-coat or water down your feelings, your hurt, or your anger as you share your story with your Pastor or Christian counselor. Begin to identify your feelings and recognize your needs. Be okay with taking care of you.
"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors
there is safety."--Proverbs 11:14 (KJV)
- Rediscover your God-given identity
Know who God says you are. Embrace your God-given identity and uniqueness. You are an original and one of a kind. When God created you--He dropped the mic! You are awesome. Your identity is not wrapped in being labeled as "mature beyond your years" as a child. God created you for something special.
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."--Psalm 139:14 (KJV)
- Reset Boundaries (that cannot be compromised)
"He establishes peace within your borders..."--Psalm 147:14(VOICE)
Prayer
Father, in the name of Jesus, we thank you for your relentless love and pursuit of the lost, broken, and hurting. We pray for victims of covert incest now. We pray over every soul wound. We thank you that you are the True and Living God; the One who is able to heal every hidden, disguised, and masked wound. We cast emotional hurt and pain, anger, fear, resentment, angst, and hostility at your feet because you care for us (I Peter 5:7).
May those who are hurting today make an exchange in the realm of the Spirit and receive your love, peace, and joy--the zoe life (John 10:10) that enables us to live a life of satisfaction and abundance that comes through a relationship with you.
Amen and so be it according to your word,
