We can never underestimate the role of a father in our lives. Fathers give us our identity. They instill a sense of safety and protection. They give us courage as they speak destiny into our lives. They show us our value, worth, and significance. When we do not receive these impartations from our fathers, we are vulnerable and open to most anything.
Consider the account of Dinah in Genesis 34. Dinah went out to see the daughters of the land. Yet, this was no ordinary walk. This venture out ended up in rape. Tragically, the Bible tells us when Dinah's father, Jacob, heard she had been raped--he did nothing. Do you think this silence impacted Dinah? Do you think she felt valued or important in her father's eyes?
Consider the account of David in I Samuel 16. When God directed Samuel to go to Jesse's (David's father) home to look for and anoint a new king--David was not even invited to be a part of the initial line-up and presentation of Jesse's sons. Samuel had to ask Jesse, "Do you have any other children?" It was only then that David was summoned. Do you think he may have felt devalued or slighted?
So, what is the "Daddy Hurt"? It is a phrase coined by our pastor's wife, Alissa. It is the pain inflicted by our earthly fathers which often comes in the form of neglect, rejection, abandonment, and/or abuse. I have heard countless stories of adult men and women who struggle with the Daddy Hurt. I am convinced that the Daddy Hurt is at the root of many challenges may face as adults. It is a pain that deeply wounds the heart and is difficult to overcome. Yet, it is possible.
Can you relate to our identify with the Daddy Hurt? If so, what was your experience with your father--rejection? Abandonment? Not being the preferred child? Do you feel angry, resentful, shame, guilt, fear, confused, etc.? All of these feelings are valid. However, they can immobilize from moving forward into our destiny. If we do not honestly grapple with the realities of the Daddy Hurt we live bound, fruitless, unfulfilling lives--so contrary to what God desires for us.
Overcoming the Daddy Hurt takes time and deliberate, concentrated effort. It requires bringing the deep longings of our heart before God the Father. It requires coming to him like a child in prayer (Luke 18:7). It necessities having our minds renewed by uprooting every false belief and lie that we may have accepted as truth concerning ourselves--our value, importance, significant, and worth and exchanging them for the truth of God's word. It requires embracing that we are loved and worthy of love.
If you would like help or prayer in this area, please reach out. There are numerous ways to reach me. I will respond to each and every request. Those who have reached out to me can confirm this.